People often wonder about what their pets would say if they could talk. I guess the same is true for babies, but I've got a pet and I don’t have a baby, so I’ll stick on the four-legged front for this one.
I love my dog, he’s the best. He’s a rescue, and he came from a super tough home with a bunch of other dogs that picked on him. When he got him he had cuts and stuff on him from getting attacked, which was terrible. He took to us very quickly, and initially he was super good with everyone. But eventually it became clear that as he trusted those of us in his “pack” more and more, he trusted outsiders less and less.
I go into that story simply because wouldn’t it be great if our pets could tell us what they’re thinking and feeling? Instead of having to figure things out by guessing and hoping you’ve identified the problem correctly, or you’re taking the right steps to fix that problem, or your pet knows that what you’re doing is to help them….it would be great if we could just sit down and talk.
“Hey, I know your last house was terrible. This will not be like that. We got you bro!” and then he’s like “ok dad, sounds good, I'm on board!” in his goofy dog voice. So easy!
Now to get on a happier train of thought on this same subject, what ELSE would you talk to your pet about? Not just healing past trauma from rescue animals or something, but we say they are our best friends, so what else would you talk about, or do together?
I feel like the movies show us that single dudes can use cute pets to pick up chicks. Great! If that’s your jam, how much easier would it be if you could formulate plans together before going to the park laying your romantic trap? Me though, I’d teach my dog how to play games.
I don’t think he’d be great at Call of Duty and stuff simply because of the no fingers thing. I don’t think he could use a controller, or a keyboard and mouse, very effectively with just his mouth. He’s ok at catching things, so frisbee would work well, at least one way. Not sure he could throw it well, but if we could talk about it, maybe I could get him to learn how to whip it just right so it flies back to me.
He’s got the head movement to throw STUFF, for sure, so maybe something with a ball would be better. He’s not swinging a bag though, so no baseball or whiffle ball.
Honestly, I think I could get him to play cornhole. And not just in the sense of I get to throw the bags and he just brings them back. I actually think that if we could talk, and I could coach him through it, I bet with the right bite (gentle!) and the perfect head shake, he could throw a duck-cloth cornhole bag and hit the board.
If you want to impress people, a dog that is also the worlds best cornhole partner is surely the way to do it. But how much fun would that be? Yea, we have fun playing tug, or fetch, with our pets now, but if you could trash talk each other and play a game of cornhole together? That’s the absolute best.
I’m not sure if there will ever be a doubles league for cornhole where it’s human and dog vs another human and dog, but I’m here for it.